I see what’s happening here
You’ve heard the myths but now you see the facts
It’s clear you don’t know what to do
This is more or less how everyone reacts.
I mean you no harm, rest assured
I only fight to keep this city secured.
I know it’s a lot: the cape, the cowl –
Sorry. I’ll try my hardest not to scowl.
What can I say except I’m Batman
And I’m watching over you all
On nights and dark days, y’know, I’m Batman
From Crime Alley up to City Hall
When Gotham is threatened by crime or by clowns
You can count on me to swoop down
For this town.
If a costumed crook – tries – to – unleash some poison gas,
I’ll deal with it, and fast.
Hmm. Also I throw scum in jail
– quite often –
And monitor the ones who make bail.
From a young age I had to be tough
– an orphan –
I can never really do enough.
I spare no expense, y’know, I’m Batman
And I’m fighting my endless crusade
What, are you dense? I’m the goddamn Batman
Dancing in this deadly masquerade
I’m bad, man, at doing transitions.
If I decided to, I could go on all night,
Nothing in this city ever escapes my sight
If Gotham PD’s ineffective
The case is cracked by the world’s greatest detective
I’ve gone everywhere
Even to space
Met a few of gods, kicked some in the face
But this is my town
I cleared out the mobsters
Half are convinced that I’m some kinda monster
‘Cause this city is mine to protect
I don’t let Superman interject
I watch over Gotham with vigilant eyes
Until the Bat Symbol lights up the night sky
At this point we’ve firmly established I’m Batman (He’s Batman!)
More exposition would be a waste
Although it might seem outlandish, I’m Batman (He’s Batman!)
So I’ll go ahead and cut to the chase
This is the day you can say you helped Batman (He’s Batman!)
‘Cause I’m gonna need your car
The Joker is getting away from ol’ Batman (He’s Batman!)
But the Batmobile is stuck at Wayne Manor
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